Talking Hand for iPhone: Call for Insults [ended]

[ No more insults please :) ]

Update: the speaks for version 1.0 are now done. It's 200 speaks, about 15min.

As you might have notices I'm a bit short on insults.
They need to be "funny" and non-vulgar. But give it your best shot!

...Also I'm short on silly compliments.
my favorites so far is "hold me in your strong arms" and "kiss me and set my libs on fire".

If I use your speaks you'll feature on the credit list - hurray \o/

Thanks for the input, here is the insult list:

• Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
• Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
• Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own
• I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works
• I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others
• Yeah, you could age yourself by twenty years just by telling the truth
• Your old, okay: It takes you longer to rest these days than it does for you to get tired.
• You'r the type of person who doesn't leave anything to my imagination and leaves even less to my patience.
• I can always tell when you'r at a party, you come in voice first.
• You look as if you dresses with a pitchfork in the morning.
• You'r the sort of hopeless case that gives failure a bad name.
• I know I can rely on you to keep me secret — the one you passe on is always your own invention.
• Hmm, you've not been yourself lately — you've been almost bearable.
• You'r still there? You're the sort of person who'd come and tell me that you'd found yourself after I'd told you to get lost.
• You'r just sad: Given the choice of two evils you'll take both.
• A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind
• Go away... you are breathing my oxygene
• Talk to the hand
• Not so handy are you?
• You'r like a fart in a spacesuit!

The compliment list:

• Look into my eyes.
• Kiss me, set my libs on fire.
• So you are asking me on a date? Yes ofcourse!
• Do I hear weding bells?
• My love for you is geuine!
• We two - we are a match.
• We are meant to be together - for ever. -And EVER!
• I want to call our first son Carl. -After my dad.
• Everytime we talk, I feel like i'm in heaven
• Is this love? -Is this realy it?
• You have a great way with words.
• You are fun to be with.
• You are cleaver.
• You have a good eye for decorating.
• You can do anything you set your mind to.
• You are capable of accomplishing whatever you believe.
• You are a good listener.
• You are very cheerful.
• You warm my heart.
• You sing like an angel. Com'on sing for me!
• You are very handsome.
• You are so beautiful. Like me!
• You are important to me.
• You have a terrific outlook on life.
• You are very intelligent.
• You are kind.
• Your eyes are like deep blue oceans.
• You are a good role model.
• You will be a great parent for.. our kids? :)
• You are funny. Tell me a joke.
• You always motivate me. -To do .. stuff. :p
• You are unique. -Quite unique!
• You are very strong. When you touch me I feel your power.
• You are a picture of good health.
• You are courageous. -Not many people would dare date a talking hand.
• You are very loving.
• You bring out the best in me.
• You make me want to be a better person. -Or hand.
• You make me smile. -Or at least I spawn hearts all over the place :)
• You make me feel special.
• You make me feel I can do anything. Tomorrow I will try to walk!
• You are fun to be with.
• You are the wind beneath my wings.
• You are the light of my life.
• Hold me in your strong arms.
• Kiss me, set my libs on fire.
• Kiss me, but be careful - too much saliva will damage the phone.

The listen list:

• aha
• uhmm
• now i get it
• you are right that so true
• definitely
• i understand
• i get it
• tell me more
• please continue
• go on
• wow
• she said that
• how big was it?
• and the gorilla didn't notice?
• did it hurt?
• you realy mean that?
• you are right
• yeah
• that's also what my mother told me
• I did that once myself - but it made me realy sick
• ...and they didn't know?
• ...and where where you hiding at the moment?
• ...ok, so now you are trying to avoid him?
• was it painful?
• there's just so mush weight on your shoulders
• you can go to jail for that
• people pay money for less
• that's unfair
• who told you that
• why?
• yes,but why?
• try to elaborate
• details please
• i'd like to hear more about that
• so interesting
• ...so nobody knew?
• did it go back to its cage afterwards?
• ...a griraf?
• that's wierd
• I thought those where plant-eaters!?
• i'd like to have seen that
• how did it taste?
• did you say "with tentacles"?
• I tried that myself once
• i never seen it that way before
• wow
• ok
• how tall did you say it was?
• haha, they'll never notice
• ..and you just put wheels on it and gave it a push?
• thats awsome!
• a rocket?
• many people tell me that
• thats just normal
• don't worry - it'll go away in a month time
• you'll get on top of things again
• i thought penguins didn't were hats
• that is a big one you are talking about
• ok, that was realy a personal detail - sure nobody else is listening?
• oh
• holy crap
• realy
• arn't they supposed to be extinct?